Prague

When it comes to writing about Prague, I have been a model procrastinator. In true procrastination spirit, rather than write about Prague, I spent time thinking about why I didn't want to write about a city that people tend to speak of with great enthusiasm. Comments like, 'I love the architecture.' 'It is so romantic!' I honestly didn't get a whole lot from the city. It felt flat. I thought of my days as a speech geek on the high school speech team and how there was a fine line between practicing your speech so that the delivery was perfect and practicing it so much that the delivery was flat, lacking energy. I found Prague flat, lacking energy and touristy. Charles Bridge is lined with little stands where people want to sell you paintings, 5 minute charactartures and jewelry (all claiming to be originals, naturally).

I enjoyed the train ride from Salzburg to the Czech Republic. I was struck by the beauty of the Czech countryside. There is lush vegetation. Fall had arrived and the vivid green hills were touched with color as the trees turned gold and red. Mist settled on the hills as though the sky was gently kissing the land in a mystical and beautiful union. Then we would pass a small town and the evidence of a turbulent past and weak economy were clear. Mounds of trash, buildings with questionable structural integrity and factory towers belched pollution. Environmental standards, clean air and good resource stewardship were not concerns of the Soviet Union which prized productivity above all else. The scars of the Soviet Union lie deep and touch every facet of life. Indeed some wounds are still very much open. This is what made Prague an interesting city to visit.

Our first night in Prague, our hostel (Sir Toby's Hostel - I would recommend it to fellow travelers) hosted a beer tasting. The Czech Republic is known for its beer or rather its consumption of beer. It drinks the most beer per capita in the world and holds its title with a convincing lead. I wouldn't say that the beer is amazing. Perhaps I was a tough judge just coming from Germany, where the beer is quite, quite good. However, the beer in Prague is cheap which is an excellent virtue, especially after 8 Euro mugs of beer at Oktoberfest. If you must know, Krusovice was my favorite beer - probably because it was dark.  Melissa and I won a trivia quiz (our time at Oktoberfest served us well) and were rewarded with a beer that was 7 Czech Krowns (Kc). To put that in perspective, 1 USD equals about 20 Kc, so our beer was about 35 cents. We wisely shared it with others to minimize our own consumption. Prague is a popular destination with young backpackers as it is a cheap place to party. Many of the old communist buildings and bomb shelters have been refurbished as bars. We went to an interesting bar with ancient hard drives on the walls and engines suspended from the ceiling. Each engine still had moving parts and were outfitted with green lights. Trippy when sober, I'm sure it is even more trippy when intoxicated. The national anthem of the Czech Republic comes from a theatrical comedy and is titled, 'Where Is My Home?' Perhaps this is because of the confusion that comes from one too many Pilsners or its history of being overtaken by other world powers. We went on a walking tour of Prague and our guide shared that his grandmother had lived in the same village her entire life but has been a member of 7 different nations. Prague's golden age was under the reign of King Charles which is recognized in its architecture and the world famous Charles Bridge. The Jewish Quarter is also interesting and has the oldest synagogue in Europe and contains stones from Jerusalem.

Most normal people check out the Astronomical Clock (voted the most disappointing tourist attraction in Europe) the Hradany Castle, Wensceslas Square, Charles Bridge and the John Lennon Wall. But we are not normal. We went to the Museum of Torture Instruments which can be summed up as absolutely gruesome, disgusting, disturbing and sickening. I think the worst was that it was all done in the name of justice. However, it is certain that justice was not served. I had a lingering feeling that had I lived in the Middle Ages, I would have been accused of witch craft (for being too outspoken) and put to death in one of the 60 terrible ways displayed. Melissa and I had to go eat ice cream to make ourselves feel better. The following day, we took the train to Kutna Hora. It is an old silver mining town that competed with Prague for importance until the silver mine was exhausted. It would be rather difficult to play Keeping Up With the Joneses with Prague. Kutna Hora is also home to the Bone Church. During the Middle Ages, a knight brought back dirt from Jerusalem. The Holy Dirt made it a popular place to be buried but they ran out of room. Unlike the Jews residing in the Jewish District in Prague who simply went out and got more dirt to place on top of the existing graves (the Jewish Cemetery contains 13-15 layers of graves, the markers arranged like shark teeth), the people of Kutna Hora used the bones that piled up as decor. Chandeliers, pyramids, coat of arms, all made of bones. Strangely, it wasn't as disturbing as the Museum of Torture. In Kutna Hora, the plague and Hussein Wars contributed the most to the collection. Our final odd visit was to the Museum of Communism and it required a trip to the mall to celebrate capitalism afterwards. It was fascinating to see propaganda against America. Apparently there was a potato blight in the 1950s and it was blamed on America. Allegedly, America flew planes over the fields and sprayed bugs on the crops so "The American Bug" became a fixture in propaganda for the rest of the Cold War. As we were leaving, I stopped to look at the postcards. "Museum of Communism: Paranoia, Propaganda and Military Invasions, not just George W's America" and "Museum of Communism: When the voice of America was the voice of freedom" Those sayings were like a punch to the gut. I spent a great deal thinking about those sayings and why it troubled me so. All I can conclude is that I love my country and that while America is not perfect and has a lot of room for improvement and I'm sometimes annoyed by other Americans traveling, we are still a great nation and I am proud to be an American.

Things I Didn't Expect When I Woke Up in the Morning
Prague Edition
Watch Melissa return her dinner's stare
Watch Melissa's dissection skills improve greatly over dinner
Meet a Swedish Ninja
Play a ukulele and kazoo in a bar
Enjoy a new spin on Mexican food in an obscure Czech town
Go out with girls wearing dirndles (their Oktoberfest purchases)